No laughing
No coughing
Absolutely no sneezing
No yelling
No bending
No twisting
No reaching
No sitting
No standing
No getting out of bed
No getting into bed;
(rent an automated lounge chair
like Uncle Charlie used to have)
No thinking of the toilet;
(just trying to get on and off will produce shrieking worthy of a
Hitchcock movie)
No heavy-duty drugs;
(they don’t ease the stabbing pain, and they are constipating...
need I say more?
Childbirth is good training for dealing with this problem;
take a deep breath and yell:
PUSH, about 80 times.)

Finally:
No sex......
...what’s sex?