In Retrospect

In retrospect…
It was so intimate and yet so innocent. That is how we were.  I always knew I felt a connection, a deep connection. I dared not think he felt that as well. Couldn’t be. He was so smart and creative and kind and generous and …really,really smart. Not that he would define himself as such. But rest assured, he was. And I, I was just me.

In retrospect…
We were on the same plane going to a scientific meeting of sorts. He came over to my seat and asked me to don his headset and listen to the music it held. I did as he requested; I would have done anything he requested. As he did with me, anything I requested; now that I think of it.

In retrospect…
I listened and the music took me somewhere. It transported me. And he knew it. My eyes were closed in deep ear concentration, but I knew, oh, I knew, that he was watching me from afar. My heart skips a beat and hurts a little when I think of it… in retrospect.

Now, he is gone; and I never got to tell him how much he meant to me. One human to another. That is a waste and a shame. But it should prove a point. No matter how old one gets, and I am there, it is a vital lesson. Grab each moment, each opportunity, in real time. Pay attention to now, every now, every moment. Your presence is requested… rsvp: I am here.